Seeing Your Therapist in the Community
What to expect from me when our paths cross in the wild
As a counsellor deeply embedded in the queer community, I believe in the importance of being an active participant in the vibrant world we share. I also understand that our lives might intersect in the community, especially at events where we share common interests and values. You might see me at public events such as queer gatherings, pride celebrations, non-monogamy meetups, or kink events.
I believe in the importance of participating in these events and being integrated into the community I serve. This involvement not only enriches my life but also enhances my understanding and ability to support my clients. Being a part of the same world allows me to stay connected, understand our shared experiences better, and serve you more effectively. However, I understand that this can sometimes create situations that feel a bit messy or awkward. If we do run into each other at an event or in public, here's what you can expect:
Proactive Conversations: If we are aware ahead of time that we share a community intersection, I invite us to talk about this in advance. We can discuss how we’d like to navigate these shared spaces in a way that prioritizes our working relationship and supports each other’s access to community.
Respecting Your Comfort: If we happen to cross paths at an event, please know that I’m always happy to see familiar faces. You can choose to wave, have a brief chat, or simply not acknowledge me at all. I completely respect your preference.
Client-Led Interactions: I make it a policy to let clients take the lead in these situations. This means that I won’t approach you first, ensuring your anonymity and discretion are protected. If you feel comfortable, you are welcome to let others know I’m your counsellor, but I will never disclose this information.
Follow-Up Conversations: If we do see each other at an event and you are an active client, I might reach out afterward to check-in. This is to address any feelings or thoughts our encounter might have brought up, and ensure any difficulties are met with compassion as soon as possible.
I am also the host and creator of an event called SapphKink. While I deeply value being connected to the communities I serve, I’ve found that hosting this particular space requires a different kind of boundary than other shared community events. When I’m at SapphKink, my therapist role is intentionally set aside, and I’m showing up as a host, community member, and human being.
Because of this, I ask that current, recent, and prospective clients not attend SapphKink within a 3-year window of working together, and that people reach out before shifting between these spaces. Keeping this space distinct from my practice allows me to sustainably host the event, care for my own capacity and wellbeing, preserve appropriate therapeutic boundaries, and remain personally connected to the community in ways that support both myself and my work.
I understand that this request may bring up feelings, questions, or disappointment, especially if SapphKink is a space you would otherwise be interested in attending. If so, I welcome us talking about it together with care and openness.
I encourage clients to email me or bring up any concerns or questions you may have about this in session.